An open letter to Danica Patrick.

Dear Danica,

I've given this some serious thought, and I think it's about time you do too. As you obviously already know, you are very cute. Really cute, like a little animal you just want to squeeze until its head pops.

Let's face it, you need to dump that almost-40 fiance of yours and start getting it on with a beautiful lesbian. I am not cute like you as aforementioned, but I have really nice boobs, good skin, and a sexy body. On the other hand, if it would make it more comfortable for you if I looked manly, I could try to frown a lot, grope my crotch, and wear less makeup. I also have a strap-on. Maybe I will even bind my 34DD breasts for you, Danica - you mean that much to me. I would also like to point out that I am bigger than you, and since you're only 100 pounds I can still carry you through the door on our wedding night.

Now, onto the important part. I know you're worried about sleeping with a woman. And of course what can compare to the expertise and knowledge of a 39-year-old man? Well, kitten, let me tell you - I've been dating a woman near your fiance's age, and trust me, I KNOW the tricks. I've studied well, and you won't be disappointed in my ability to work my way up those tight little legs of yours. Plus I am 22 - and unlike your fiance will not be in need of viagra by the time you're hitting your sexual peak. Did I mention that I have long fingers?

Please consider letting me squeeze you. I promise I won't pop your head.

Love,

Your Lesbian Admirer

http://westpalmbeach.craigslist.org/.../78799977.html

Wow. She forgot to add:

"If you don't respond within 48 hours, I'll kill your dog. 48 hours after that, I'll kill your fiancee'. 48 hours after that, your cute litte race car just might catch on fire. I WILL HAVE YOU, YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!"

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thats scarey...

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I'm not a Mongolian!!

lol that's gotta be a joke

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Nah its from WPB, FL... I'd believe it.