Road bikers, what the hell is a "fred"?

I've seen it online a few times, "Don't be a Fred".

Is that like a ricer for the bicyclist world?

Well, there are two running definitions. One is the poser with the pro kit and the Orbea who rides on the trail every saturday at 15 mph. The other is the bearded touring cyclist in tube socks whom you only see from behind because he’s faster than you.

“Don’t be a Fred” applies to both of them, though in the context of the racing kit its more towards the latter.


Basically people with either too much money or not enough style. (CBR reminds readers that 1. There’s nothing wrong with tube socks. 2. Most of us started out as Freds, so be kind.)

“Don’t be a Fred.” is like saying “Dress like a racer” in a “Snap-into-a-Slim-Jim!” tone of voice.

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Pro kit? What, like the shorts and shirt with logos all over it? Or just an expensive bike? Not like I really care, I'm just curious. Got to be up to date on the lingo.

I miss the Randy Savage, Snap into a Slim Jim commercials.

So they want you to dress even dorkier than you already are?

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"Many of our fellow citizens no longer have the tolerant souls and morals of free men and women. They have the souls and morals of busybodies and petty tyrants who want to run their neighbors' lives." -- Edward L. Hudgins

"Those who give up ESSENTIAL LIBERTY to purchase a little TEMPORARY SAFETY deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin

Harley Davidson:
The most efficient device for converting fuel into noise without the adverse side effect of horsepower...

I'm a Fred

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Without bacon it is impossible to please me, because
anyone who comes to me must believe that bacon exists
and that I will reward those who bring me bacon.

In your hearts set apart bacon as awesomeness. Always be
prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you
to give the reason for the love that you have for bacon. But do
this with eggs and cheese.