I have a friend who is the editor of a conservative newspaper and I'm writing her some hate mail. Some funny contributions would be welcomed. THANKS

This is what I came up with. It's 4am and I'm exhausted so it's not as good as I would have liked but I did use theforumlounge :). I signed it with an anagram of my name. mua ha ha ha



Dear (name removed even though I changed it to end in lesbian)

After reading your latest ignorant tirade I felt that I simply had to write to you. Undoubtedly I'll be published and mocked like every under-represented person that has ever written to the Observer. Contrary to your beliefs, My Mexican-American brethren and I are in fact capable of making intelligent decisions and we won’t stand for your bullying. People like YOU stole our countryside from our ancestors. I thought a person whose parents are clearly siblings would have more respect for diversity.
Republicans no longer just ignore the common citizen. Things like NAFTA just go to show that republicans have fallen to a new low; utter hate for the people that put them in the position they hold today. Why stop with destroying this continent? Why not continue to fund the wrongful attacks of imperialist Israel? I suppose it is only right to keep the birthplace of Christianity in the hands of the Jews. After all, God values human life. He values it at 30 shekels of silver (Exodus 21:32 – “If the bull gores a male or female slave, the owner must pay thirty shekels of silver to the master of the slave”).
I have an interesting fact a crack head like you should know. While Bush’s war on drugs has been waged on pot, the COCAINE industry has seen booming growth of 29% in a year. I’d say 29% growth is impressive when compared to our contraction of 4.5% GDP in 2005. Uh oh, you and your redneck staff will soon have all the blow and meth you can do.
I’ve seen you around campus with that smug, native-American slaughtering smile of yours. It’s no wonder you have no appreciation for Mother Nature, look what she did to you. I hope you have a heart attack during a game of charades.

Sincerely,

Senor Chibros

jebus!!! This is your "Friend"?

Good lord! I don't need a "friend" by your definition.

Seriously, that is funny.

jebus!!! This is your "Friend"?

Good lord! I don't need a "friend" by your definition.

Seriously, that is funny.

LOLERZ! +1

This place is great I should've signed up sooner. I think that letter will work just fine. Do you think he'll realize it's you?