Skylance
07-06-2006, 08:05 AM
Ok, here is the story of my July 4th weekend.
As many of you already know, I moved to SC last weekend. Well, this weekend I had to help my parents move to New Canton, VA. It's about an hour South East of Charlottesville, VA, home of the UVA Cavaliers. The reason for the move is that over the past 4 years or so, Dad has been going to seminary (preacher school) and he finally landed his first church. Anyway, just about anything that involves me and my family has to include some sort of a major catastrophe (At least one, but usually more). Read on.
Right before we leave on Friday, dad walks across the street to say goodbye to our neighbor who is just arriving home and getting his mail. You have to understand that this guy is elderly and this is apparently the first automatic transmission vehicle that he has EVER owned. He forgot to put it in park. So, he is talking to dad and he still has his hand - errrr, his whole arm - in the mail box. Why? I don't know, but he did. At some point, he took his foot off the brake. The dude was ok, but he still pulled his arm pretty bad. So, we finally get to leave.
We have to stop by Arby's so my brother Lyle can get his last paycheck. We also decide to go ahead and grab lunch while we are there. So, imagine this: It's Dad in the biggest U-haul money could rent, Mom in the F-150, Lyle in his Jeep Commanche, and me in the MX-6. Obviously, the U-haul won't fit in one space. So Dad pulls all the way to the corner of the lot (next to the dumpster) at Arby's and we fill in the 3 spaces behind them. We go in, eat, have a good time. When we come out, we realize that the parking lot has filled up all the way to where we parked, but around the corner is empty EXCEPT for a lone Mustang ( remember that). Also, the tractor trailer who delivers to Arby's decided that the best place to park would be to pull right next to the U-haul. Perfect! So, Dad can't pull forward (which was the original intent in parking there in the first place. So, the only way to get the U-haul out is to pull ALL of our vehicles out from behind the parking lot, and park them around the corner.
As I'm directing Dad as he's backing out, some idiot decided he wanted a space behind a U-haul in reverse. His car literally brushed against me!!!! I decide that was not a wise move on his part and that he should pay. He is already dangerously close to the U-haul, and I decided that he should go all the way. . . If you get my drift. Fortunately for him, he jumped out of the car in time to help direct Dad around his vehicle. DRATS!!!!
At some point during all of this, Lyle's truck ( the Jeep ) popped out of gear and started rolling. It clipped the corner of the afore-mentioned Mustang. It only took out the signal light of the Mustang and scuffed it's bumper, nothing major. Unfortunately, it was not enough to stop the truck. Mom, still sitting in the F-150 and watching all of this thinks that the Jeep was heading out the exit and for the highway. It actually wasn't, but as Lyle is running towards his truck to jump in and stop it, Mom - in all of her infinite wisdom - has a stroke of genius. . . The only way to stop the Jeep is to hit it with the F-150!!!!! Just as Lyle is about to grab the door handle, Mom guns it and smashes into the side of the bed. She was right, it did stop the Jeep. But it was pointless since Lyle was there, and it was nowhere near the highway as she had assumed. Lyle, as you can imagine, is none too happy about this! Not only is there a huge dent in the side of his otherwise almost mint truck, but Mom also almost ran him over!
Fortunately, the only damage to all vehicles involved is cosmetic, and even more importantly, nobody is hurt. The F-150 only suffered some VERY minor scarring on the bumper. Especially considering the HUGE dent in the side of Lyle's truck. The police come and we get everything sorted out, and we are FINALLY on the way.
Ok, so, the only way out of Arby's (without taking the U-haul through town) is to go West on the highway and then turn around at the next light. The light turns green and our convoy moves ahead with the u-turn. I notice a HUGE freakin' pothole off the edge of the road that is filled with mud and water, I also notice that the rear tire of the U-haul is heading right for it. I'm thinking it's gonna get stuck. But, no! The rear tire pops right out of the hole! I am relieved for a moment. Instead of just going back to the pavement like it should, the tire keeps gaining altitude! It is litererally 2 whole feet off the ground at the apex of its climb!! I suddenly have a vision of us spending the next 4 hours or so picking our crap up off the highway and putting it into another, non wrecked U-haul. Fortunately, fate smiled upon us and put the tire back where it belongs! I then breathed teh biggest sigh of relief ever!
In the first town over the border in VA, we stopped to get gas and some munchies and empty our bladders. I am happy to report that happened without a major incident. You do have to realize, that at this point we are literally in the middle of NOWHERE! There is not a major town for hundreds of miles. Ok, why did I just tell you that? Read on. Once we got back on the road, I almost immediately spotted 2 Opel GT's!!!! Very cool! A little further down the road I spot several MG's! A little more common, but still nice. Several miles later, I spot 2 Shelby Cobras! No, not mustangs, actual *Shelby Cobras*!!!! As I am sitting at a traffic lite pondering over what I had just seen in the previous 10 - 15 minutes, I notice a 4door sedan pull up next to me. I'm not usually one to check out sedans, but for a reason unknown to me, I just couldn't stop looking at it. It looked SOOOO beautiful. I really couldn't figure out why. After a few moments, I give in and try to identify the car. It doesn't look like anything else I've ever seen on a highway, so i start looking for badges. Then I spot it! A badge on the fender with a huge "B" on it. I blinked, rubbed my eyes and looked again. Nooooo. The light turned green and I let him pull ahead. Sure enough, it was a Bently!!!!!! Remember, we are out in the middle of nowhere! It was crazy!
As many of you already know, I moved to SC last weekend. Well, this weekend I had to help my parents move to New Canton, VA. It's about an hour South East of Charlottesville, VA, home of the UVA Cavaliers. The reason for the move is that over the past 4 years or so, Dad has been going to seminary (preacher school) and he finally landed his first church. Anyway, just about anything that involves me and my family has to include some sort of a major catastrophe (At least one, but usually more). Read on.
Right before we leave on Friday, dad walks across the street to say goodbye to our neighbor who is just arriving home and getting his mail. You have to understand that this guy is elderly and this is apparently the first automatic transmission vehicle that he has EVER owned. He forgot to put it in park. So, he is talking to dad and he still has his hand - errrr, his whole arm - in the mail box. Why? I don't know, but he did. At some point, he took his foot off the brake. The dude was ok, but he still pulled his arm pretty bad. So, we finally get to leave.
We have to stop by Arby's so my brother Lyle can get his last paycheck. We also decide to go ahead and grab lunch while we are there. So, imagine this: It's Dad in the biggest U-haul money could rent, Mom in the F-150, Lyle in his Jeep Commanche, and me in the MX-6. Obviously, the U-haul won't fit in one space. So Dad pulls all the way to the corner of the lot (next to the dumpster) at Arby's and we fill in the 3 spaces behind them. We go in, eat, have a good time. When we come out, we realize that the parking lot has filled up all the way to where we parked, but around the corner is empty EXCEPT for a lone Mustang ( remember that). Also, the tractor trailer who delivers to Arby's decided that the best place to park would be to pull right next to the U-haul. Perfect! So, Dad can't pull forward (which was the original intent in parking there in the first place. So, the only way to get the U-haul out is to pull ALL of our vehicles out from behind the parking lot, and park them around the corner.
As I'm directing Dad as he's backing out, some idiot decided he wanted a space behind a U-haul in reverse. His car literally brushed against me!!!! I decide that was not a wise move on his part and that he should pay. He is already dangerously close to the U-haul, and I decided that he should go all the way. . . If you get my drift. Fortunately for him, he jumped out of the car in time to help direct Dad around his vehicle. DRATS!!!!
At some point during all of this, Lyle's truck ( the Jeep ) popped out of gear and started rolling. It clipped the corner of the afore-mentioned Mustang. It only took out the signal light of the Mustang and scuffed it's bumper, nothing major. Unfortunately, it was not enough to stop the truck. Mom, still sitting in the F-150 and watching all of this thinks that the Jeep was heading out the exit and for the highway. It actually wasn't, but as Lyle is running towards his truck to jump in and stop it, Mom - in all of her infinite wisdom - has a stroke of genius. . . The only way to stop the Jeep is to hit it with the F-150!!!!! Just as Lyle is about to grab the door handle, Mom guns it and smashes into the side of the bed. She was right, it did stop the Jeep. But it was pointless since Lyle was there, and it was nowhere near the highway as she had assumed. Lyle, as you can imagine, is none too happy about this! Not only is there a huge dent in the side of his otherwise almost mint truck, but Mom also almost ran him over!
Fortunately, the only damage to all vehicles involved is cosmetic, and even more importantly, nobody is hurt. The F-150 only suffered some VERY minor scarring on the bumper. Especially considering the HUGE dent in the side of Lyle's truck. The police come and we get everything sorted out, and we are FINALLY on the way.
Ok, so, the only way out of Arby's (without taking the U-haul through town) is to go West on the highway and then turn around at the next light. The light turns green and our convoy moves ahead with the u-turn. I notice a HUGE freakin' pothole off the edge of the road that is filled with mud and water, I also notice that the rear tire of the U-haul is heading right for it. I'm thinking it's gonna get stuck. But, no! The rear tire pops right out of the hole! I am relieved for a moment. Instead of just going back to the pavement like it should, the tire keeps gaining altitude! It is litererally 2 whole feet off the ground at the apex of its climb!! I suddenly have a vision of us spending the next 4 hours or so picking our crap up off the highway and putting it into another, non wrecked U-haul. Fortunately, fate smiled upon us and put the tire back where it belongs! I then breathed teh biggest sigh of relief ever!
In the first town over the border in VA, we stopped to get gas and some munchies and empty our bladders. I am happy to report that happened without a major incident. You do have to realize, that at this point we are literally in the middle of NOWHERE! There is not a major town for hundreds of miles. Ok, why did I just tell you that? Read on. Once we got back on the road, I almost immediately spotted 2 Opel GT's!!!! Very cool! A little further down the road I spot several MG's! A little more common, but still nice. Several miles later, I spot 2 Shelby Cobras! No, not mustangs, actual *Shelby Cobras*!!!! As I am sitting at a traffic lite pondering over what I had just seen in the previous 10 - 15 minutes, I notice a 4door sedan pull up next to me. I'm not usually one to check out sedans, but for a reason unknown to me, I just couldn't stop looking at it. It looked SOOOO beautiful. I really couldn't figure out why. After a few moments, I give in and try to identify the car. It doesn't look like anything else I've ever seen on a highway, so i start looking for badges. Then I spot it! A badge on the fender with a huge "B" on it. I blinked, rubbed my eyes and looked again. Nooooo. The light turned green and I let him pull ahead. Sure enough, it was a Bently!!!!!! Remember, we are out in the middle of nowhere! It was crazy!