I was doing this barracks ho, and she was boring as hell. I'm banging away on her doggy style. And I had watched Mallrats earlier that day so I decided to go for it. I imitated Brody perfectly, smacking her ass and going arf-arf.

I laughed hard enough to start crying, and lost wood. She never spoke to me after i told the whole barracks.

Eat zebra cakes.

amish have you found out who that girl is yet?

amish have you found out who that girl is yet?
:rofl:

I stopped and walked away to change the CD in the CD player. I DJ so bad music especially in that situation is unacceptable. She could've been blowin me and I still would have to have her pause so I can put on some good music.

Can't say.. However, I have banged her so hard that we broke the box spring and their for her loosing balace and my last thrust threw her off the bed and she hit her head on the table. Yeah, if that counts, give me a point. :D

but as for weird shit during sex. never screamed.. almost farted though, but never anything crazy.

passed out ! while she was giving head :alcohol:
i got too drunk at a christmas party :lmfao: :beer:

premature ejactulation...wait, what was the question?

Most randomest thing I have ever done during sex was probably mid way into bangin this one chick, I took my condom off and blew it up into a balloon, but I held it shut, and was still fingering the chick with me other hand. Well, I still had the condom pinched shut, so I slid it into her and held it near the base and shot air into her juicebox. That ended up being the loudest pussyfart ever. I was laughing my ass off.

Most randomest thing I have ever done during sex was probably mid way into bangin this one chick, I took my condom off and blew it up into a balloon, but I held it shut, and was still fingering the chick with me other hand. Well, I still had the condom pinched shut, so I slid it into her and held it near the base and shot air into her juicebox. That ended up being the loudest pussyfart ever. I was laughing my ass off.

That was really funny....








































Until I realized that you put your mouth on a used condom. :(

red r1 has gross sex stories...

Until I realized that you put your mouth on a used condom. :(

BWAHAHAHAHA. . . . He just does not know does he Poopy and gang?

He's like a 14 year old boy or some shit. He doesn't even belong here.

He's like a 14 year old boy or some shit. He doesn't even belong here.

Oh whaaaat? I thought all of that was a joke! I'll be damned~

1st, I'm no doctor, but I think he could have given her an embolism or something. Pussy farts are funny, dead girls are not

2nd, he did put his mouth on a used condom...fag.

3rd, I was doggy-stylin' this girl and thigs got a little rough and I put her head through her mirrored headboard. She really didn't hurt her head, so she didn't know whether to keep on enjoying it or to be pissed...then she started noticing she was kneeling in a big puddle o broken mirror, and she decided to go with pissed.

I actually took queen by the hand and placed her hand near the crack in my butt. I then gave her the look, and helped me experience ultimate pleasure.

holy crap that even disturbed me..shut up :puke:

I went out with this chick to dinner, to the movies and then back to her place to have sex. Something she ate disagreed with her, so sparing all the details, when I pumped it, she dumped it... I just told her I better go home now.

Tossing a finger up a girl's rear randomly while going at it from behind and yelling "SURPRISE BUTTSEX!!"...

Picking her up and nailing her as throughly as possible up against a support beam in the basement....

Yelling "tag, you're it!!!" to one of my friends while tapping him in for his turn on a chick that was running a train on my buddies and I.... Oddly enough, that's how I lost my virginity... :rofl:

i dont think anything weird or un-normal has ever happened when ive had sex but heres a reminder: turn cell on silent or off when fucking lol.. it has ruined the moment before when your phone says mom is calling lol

i dont think anything weird or un-normal has ever happened when ive had sex but heres a reminder: turn cell on silent or off when fucking lol.. it has ruined the moment before when your phone says mom is calling lol


Aren't you too young to be having sex often?

I was banging this chick doggystyle and was having fun just pulling it out and then sticking it back in. Well I guess some air got trapped in there and I heard the loudest/longest queef ever. I just fell over laughing and accusing her of actually letting a fart rip.

hate it when girls fart. its disgusting, i know its natural. but cmon... guys can fart and itll be funny but when girls fart i just wanna barf.

hate it when girls fart. its disgusting, i know its natural. but cmon... guys can fart and itll be funny but when girls fart i just wanna barf.


Do you ever pull out allot to make a vagina fart?

Yay double standards!!!

i dont think anything weird or un-normal has ever happened when ive had sex but heres a reminder: turn cell on silent or off when fucking lol.. it has ruined the moment before when your phone says mom is calling lol

You dirty bird you! :angel:

So what are you saying. You have your phone on voice dial and you're screaming MOMMY!

You dirty bird you! :angel:

So what are you saying. You have your phone on voice dial and you're screaming MOMMY!

"when your phone is on and it says mom is calling"

Explain to me how having a phone on voice dial and calling your mom, would show "mom calling" on your caller id while your phone is ringing?

You're 30 years old and cant read.

lol. it was supposed to be "calling mom". and let me guess. you have cingular (or tmobile? or the super cool nextel?)

My point is.......amishboy is 32 and has the mentality of felixwankel88.