Cosby
05-30-2003, 02:22 PM
I have declared this Saturday (5-31-03) Pedestrian appreciation day. If you havent been here a year let me tell you about pedestrian appreciation day....
We gotta keep them inline. you know.. inch forward at a light..even if its red.. rev a little. give them dirty looks if they walk too close. steer towards the sidewalk if they begin to stray off of it. STREETS ARE FOR CARS! PERIOD. you are allowed to enter the street as a pedestrian only when your "sole" (haha pun) purpose is to get to another sidewalk.. that means no conversations.. no meandering... no changing your mind haflway.. no walking in the street to get around slower walkers, no calling to your friend and standing there waiting for them to catch up... nada.
and now there is a day.. one day per year, for each driver out there, where he can hit pedestrians, but only those in the street. (it would be too unfair otherwise)
now some ground rules..
this one day yearly isnt like a birthday - its not set.. but rather it is random.. you find out the day before.
if your percentage of being a pedestrian is to exceed your percentage of being a driver that day.. too bad.
you may only take advantage of this in "your" car (or car commonly driven by you.. ie: work delivery vans are fine.. but renting a car or borrowing one just to damage pedestrians is not allowed)
if the pedestrian is making a clear effort at getting from sidewalk to another - they are out of bounds... however if they falter, stumble, divert, or procrastinate in any way.. you may hit them.
if you miss your day or are injured and cannot drive, there are no rainchecks.
if you are hit by a driver when it is his (thats right.. HIS... women do not get this day as the world would be far too scary a place then) day - and it is ruled a fair hitting by the pedestrian-damage-day judges... you may not press charges or recoup any medical costs.. as the only was it can be ruled valid by the judges is if its your own damn fault for NOT staying to the sidewalks as much as possible.
kids and babies may not be hit, but their inattentive parents may be.. in fact its encouraged... this is the only time you, the driver, may climb the sidewalk with your vehicle.
drivers found in violation by unfairly hitting a pedestrian will be forced to become a pedestrian in Spartanburg county, SC year round... where there are virtually no sidewalks and will be docked 30 points. good luck!
We gotta keep them inline. you know.. inch forward at a light..even if its red.. rev a little. give them dirty looks if they walk too close. steer towards the sidewalk if they begin to stray off of it. STREETS ARE FOR CARS! PERIOD. you are allowed to enter the street as a pedestrian only when your "sole" (haha pun) purpose is to get to another sidewalk.. that means no conversations.. no meandering... no changing your mind haflway.. no walking in the street to get around slower walkers, no calling to your friend and standing there waiting for them to catch up... nada.
and now there is a day.. one day per year, for each driver out there, where he can hit pedestrians, but only those in the street. (it would be too unfair otherwise)
now some ground rules..
this one day yearly isnt like a birthday - its not set.. but rather it is random.. you find out the day before.
if your percentage of being a pedestrian is to exceed your percentage of being a driver that day.. too bad.
you may only take advantage of this in "your" car (or car commonly driven by you.. ie: work delivery vans are fine.. but renting a car or borrowing one just to damage pedestrians is not allowed)
if the pedestrian is making a clear effort at getting from sidewalk to another - they are out of bounds... however if they falter, stumble, divert, or procrastinate in any way.. you may hit them.
if you miss your day or are injured and cannot drive, there are no rainchecks.
if you are hit by a driver when it is his (thats right.. HIS... women do not get this day as the world would be far too scary a place then) day - and it is ruled a fair hitting by the pedestrian-damage-day judges... you may not press charges or recoup any medical costs.. as the only was it can be ruled valid by the judges is if its your own damn fault for NOT staying to the sidewalks as much as possible.
kids and babies may not be hit, but their inattentive parents may be.. in fact its encouraged... this is the only time you, the driver, may climb the sidewalk with your vehicle.
drivers found in violation by unfairly hitting a pedestrian will be forced to become a pedestrian in Spartanburg county, SC year round... where there are virtually no sidewalks and will be docked 30 points. good luck!