Post things that you should never do, I will start.

Never fight with female pro-swimmer, they can hit extremely hard.

Never play DnD. That was probably the most boring 20 minutes of my life.

Never shoot a CO2 cartridge from 25 yards with a 300WSM. I had the dents in my pickup to prove that.

Never take one sparkplug out of a two cylinder two stroke and hold onto it while the engine runs on the other cylinder.

Never work on a gas plant with a hangover.

Never tell your significant other, "Well, I wouldn't put it past your mother to come up with a retarded idea like that."

Never say "I think I can make it." Because the minute you don't believe you can, you won't.

Never say "I'll bring the beef." when a vegetarian invites you to a BBQ.

Never let a friend borrow something and tell him, "No worries about getting it back, its not like I don't know where you live." I'm still looking for most of those tools.

Never point out to a college professor that they don't know jack or shit about what they are trying to teach.

Never tell your significant other, "Well, I wouldn't put it past your mother to come up with a retarded idea like that."


Thanks for the sig.

I called someone I was involved with's mother "a fucking cunt"

I called someone I was involved with's mother "a fucking cunt"


Damn Im sure the outcome of that conversation sucked.

Thanks for the sig.
:bigthumb:

my all time favorite
girl in love "What did you noticed when you first saw me?"
czar "your wrinkles"
I still fucked her.

I still fucked her.
Lies.

truth.
we were cyboring and after we exchanged pics, we agreed to meet up. That photo of hers must have been 50 years ago because she had a lot of wrinkles and a bigger waist size than advertised. Czar didnt like putting a lot of effort into this liar...ho nosireebob. so I bent her over to make up lost time and smacktalked her until it was painfully obvious that I wasnt interested. Pussy was kind of dry. I guess she was still thinking about that wrinkle line heheeeeeeeee.

noticed i was a gentleman and didnt call her out on fatness.

Never say "Whats your name again" during sex :]]

Never say "Whats your name again" during sex :]]That's why you just call them all "Honey" that way you never get it wrong!

Never "let it slip" ;) into the butt of the chick you're pounding like a railroad spike.

...of the chick you're pounding like a railroad spike.You silver tongued devil you!!!

Never "let it slip" ;) into the butt of the chick you're pounding like a railroad spike.


Also known as Dolphin Sex for the sound she makes as you "slip".

Hahahaha!! Never heard that one before!! That was funny!!:bigthumb:

Never say "Whats your name again" during sex :]]

Czar, you gonna let your daughter talk like this? :roll:

Never EVER! During sex ask her,,,would you still love me if you were not my sister?:eek::lmfao:

NEVER EVER when she asks,,,damn boy,,who taught you to screw like that.....say MOM!

not my daughter.

Never take a 25mph corner at 65 in a lifted truck

Never Date an oriental girl unless you can speak the language. Hey! How was I supposed to know when she started moaning and screaming,,,, that "wong ho" doesn't translate into you stud muffin!:dunno:

Never take a 25mph corner at 65 in a lifted truck

That sounds like a really good idea, man.

Never call an Asian girl 'oriental'.

Never EVER when a girl is taking off her shirt for you say, "Wow those look just like my mom's."

Never ask a girl how she broke her nose... when she actually didn't

Never Ever ask during the heat of sex,,,,would you pull my finger?

Never Ever burn her with a cigarette during sex. Hmmm,,skip that one. That was the only time my ex-wife moved during sex!

Never EVER use KY jelly! Always use Poli-grip!

Never EVER try and get a woman who just lays there during sex to move by saying, you are not as good in bed as your sister,,,she still wont move,,she will just say,,yeah,,,I know,,,my dad and my brother say the same thing,,,,

Looks like someone's whoring needs to be reeled in.

That sounds like a really good idea, man.

I speak from experience

I speak from experience

...it seemed like a good idea at the time?

There are two things you should never do in bed,,, Point and laugh!!

There are two things you should never do in bed,,, Point and laugh!!

Sounds like a good way to stop a rape in progress.

...it seemed like a good idea at the time?

I guess....however talking on my cell phone did not help the situation. One of my tires blew the bead otherwise I might have made it

Never ever ever fart while getting head...i still have bite marks

NEVER say to a girl "How far long are you?" When she's not pregnant...

Never, ever, spank your monkey if he's wearing leather chaps and tights!!!