So, my father has an even more fucked up sense of humor than I do, and loves to tell me his latest joke. Some of you might remember other jokes he's told me.

I've decided to just run a thread, and will update it every time he calls.

So, a black baby goes to heaven, and gets his wings. He turns to God and says, "God, am I an angel now?"

God says, "No. Now you're a bat."

Next, also from tonights conversation:

Do you know why they spank new born babies?


To knock the dick off the dumb ones.

So, my father has an even more fucked up sense of humor than I do, and loves to tell me his latest joke. Some of you might remember other jokes he's told me.

I've decided to just run a thread, and will update it every time he calls.

So, a black baby goes to heaven, and gets his wings. He turns to God and says, "God, am I an angel now?"

God says, "No. Now you're a bat."

That's awful! SImply awful!

I can't stop laughing

LOL friggin funny as hell. Both of them

So, my father has an even more fucked up sense of humor than I do, and loves to tell me his latest joke. Some of you might remember other jokes he's told me.

I've decided to just run a thread, and will update it every time he calls.

So, a black baby goes to heaven, and gets his wings. He turns to God and says, "God, am I an angel now?"

God says, "No. Now you're a bat."



:roll: :roll: :roll:

I lolled :D

I hate to rain on this parade... but both came across as extremely bland, corny, and plain stupid.

I hate to rain on this parade... but both came across as extremely bland, corny, and plain stupid.

I know.

The point of this is just to share with you what I am subjected to every time I talk to my Dad.

Another classic Dad joke:

So, a boy comes home from school one day and tells his mom, "Mom, today I had sex with my teacher."

Mom looks at him in shock and anger and says, "Just you wait 'til your Dad gets home, young man."

Dad comes home, the son walks up to him and says, "Dad, today I had sex with my teacher."

Dad high fives him and says, "Hey, that's my boy! Let's go get an ice cream."

So, they take off, get the ice cream, and the Dad, still glowing, says, "So, son, do you want anything else? How about a new bike?"

The son looks at him and says, "No thanks, Dad. My ass is still sore."

thats wrong just wrong. BUt still quite amusing.

hahhaahahaha.

Definitely didn't see where the teacher one was going...lol

The all time corney joke that I heard way too many times

The Judge: "Mr. Mouse, you can't divorce Minnie becuase she is crazy"
Mickey: "Your Honor, I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking Goofy"

this thread makes me lol

except the bat joke, which offends my silly liberal sensibilities

This one will ruin your day, but for some reason it gets funnier when you tell it three or four times to the same person.

Little boy walks into class crying,
The Teacher asks him "Why are you crying"
the boy replied "I was walking to school with my Dog and car hit him in the ass"
The teacher said "Little boy, don't say ass, say rectum"
The little boy replied "RECTUM? Hell it killed him!"

(Wrecked him=rectum) this is where you crack up at your own joke and poke the other guy in the ribs with your elbow. Make sure you are wearing a double knit suit as well.

"You aint shit without double knit"

one of the guys I used to work with said that all the friggin' time

"Rectum? Damn near killed 'im!"

Tonights gem:

So, a 14 year old boy gets a duck for his birthday. His parents give him a leash and tell him to go take the duck for a walk in the park.

A 14 year old girl comes up to him and says, "Hey, if you give me that duck, I'll fuck you."

The boy says, "Hey, sure!" They go behind the bushes and go at it. She walks away with the duck.

Then, the girl walks back and says, "You know, I really enjoyed that. If you fuck me again, I'll give you the duck back."

The boy, of course, says "Let's go." They go back behind the bushes, go at it, and the boy comes out with the duck.

So, he walks home with the duck, and when they are about to cross the street, a truck comes by and runs the duck over, killing it instantly.

The truck driver hops out, looks at the kid, the duck, says, "Gee kid, I'm sorry. All I have on me is two dollars, so here, take it."

The kid walks home with the leash and the two dollars. His parents see him and ask him what happened.

"Well, let's see. I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and two bucks for a fucked up duck."