Cosby
08-22-2005, 02:09 AM
GOOD news for aspiring high achievers and borderline workaholics: you may be remiss in friendships and asleep at family gatherings, but you will be a big hit in the bedroom.
Men who have difficulties balancing career and home life scored highest in a study of their wives’ or girlfriends’ sexual satisfaction, unveiled last week at the annual gathering of the American Psychological Association.
The research challenges the popular notion that spouses of busy men are typically desperate housewives living lonely, unfulfilled lives. They may not see their husbands as much as they like, but when they do, sparks fly.
Jonathan Schwartz, a professor of psychology, said his team of researchers were taken aback by the results of their analysis of nearly 100 sexually active couples who over a year recorded the most intimate details of their love lives.
“We are surprised because previous research indicated that wives of men who worked every hour in the day complained about the quality of their relationship,” said Schwartz. “But as far as I can see no one asked them about their sex lives, and those are surprisingly healthy.”
The study asked women to measure satisfaction by combining the physical aspects of sexual performance, such as orgasm frequency and intensity, and psychological aspects such as intimacy.
Men who felt intellectually inferior to their lovers reported the lowest level of sexual satisfaction, as did their women. Partners of more confident men had the highest pleasure scores.
“It may be driven by guilt,” said Imelda Bush, a researcher working with Schwartz. “Men who spend too much time at work and feel bad about it may make more of an effort and try harder to satisfy their partner sexually, making up for lost time in the home.
“This applies to hard workers, but not the true workaholic who simply does not care about home life,” said Bush, whose future research will include asking professional women about their stay-at-home husbands.
“We all work long hours these days, but many men try to make up for it when they get home. Those that don’t do so end up in the divorce statistics.”
Fifty years after Alfred Kinsey, the social scientist, started asking Americans about their sex life, such academic research remains rare. At Louisiana Tech University, where the research was carried out, some department heads banned students and staff from taking part.
“Viagra has not ended the quest to find out what makes us sexually healthy and happy; nor are the answers obvious, as this research indicates,” said Schwartz last week.
Other psychologists are wary of the Schwartz report. “The danger is that such men can be active and virile and have lots of sex but not make an emotional connection,” warned Debbie Then, a Californian psychologist. “If a man is going to be master of the universe at work, he will also want to be master of the universe at home.”
In this country Gail Kinman, senior psychology lecturer at Luton University, said it all sounded very tiring. “I do not know if they can keep it up. A strong relationship can survive a workaholic partner — at least for a while.”
Paula Hall, a counsellor at Relate, said such “sexual compensation” was not just about hours spent in the office. “Someone who enjoys their job will spread happiness around. The more successful you are, the more testosterone you produce. And if you are good at what you do, it’s more likely to be ‘Hey — let’s party’.”
Men who describe themselves as workaholics often try to find some “quality time” to spend with their lovers. Tony Blair recently said that he always aimed to find some “romance” time in his working schedule and joked with a photographer during the election campaign that he had sex “at least” five times a night.
Sociologists believe chefs rank higher than politicians among the professions dominated by workaholics, and the chefs agree. Mike Robinson, 35, who runs the Pot Kiln in Frilsham, Berkshire, said he worked the most “antisocial hours known to humanity”.
“I would like to spend more time with my wife but it’s not feasible,” he said last week. On sex, he said: “That side of things becomes slightly irregular, but you catch up when you can.”
Jamie Oliver, the celebrity chef, has admitted that his long working day has caused problems in his marriage. However, he does not hold with the American theory that workaholics can compensate through sexual performance.
“I always say the divorce rate would go down dramatically if people sat down together more often and had some good food and a nice cup of tea,” he said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-1743347,00.html
Men who have difficulties balancing career and home life scored highest in a study of their wives’ or girlfriends’ sexual satisfaction, unveiled last week at the annual gathering of the American Psychological Association.
The research challenges the popular notion that spouses of busy men are typically desperate housewives living lonely, unfulfilled lives. They may not see their husbands as much as they like, but when they do, sparks fly.
Jonathan Schwartz, a professor of psychology, said his team of researchers were taken aback by the results of their analysis of nearly 100 sexually active couples who over a year recorded the most intimate details of their love lives.
“We are surprised because previous research indicated that wives of men who worked every hour in the day complained about the quality of their relationship,” said Schwartz. “But as far as I can see no one asked them about their sex lives, and those are surprisingly healthy.”
The study asked women to measure satisfaction by combining the physical aspects of sexual performance, such as orgasm frequency and intensity, and psychological aspects such as intimacy.
Men who felt intellectually inferior to their lovers reported the lowest level of sexual satisfaction, as did their women. Partners of more confident men had the highest pleasure scores.
“It may be driven by guilt,” said Imelda Bush, a researcher working with Schwartz. “Men who spend too much time at work and feel bad about it may make more of an effort and try harder to satisfy their partner sexually, making up for lost time in the home.
“This applies to hard workers, but not the true workaholic who simply does not care about home life,” said Bush, whose future research will include asking professional women about their stay-at-home husbands.
“We all work long hours these days, but many men try to make up for it when they get home. Those that don’t do so end up in the divorce statistics.”
Fifty years after Alfred Kinsey, the social scientist, started asking Americans about their sex life, such academic research remains rare. At Louisiana Tech University, where the research was carried out, some department heads banned students and staff from taking part.
“Viagra has not ended the quest to find out what makes us sexually healthy and happy; nor are the answers obvious, as this research indicates,” said Schwartz last week.
Other psychologists are wary of the Schwartz report. “The danger is that such men can be active and virile and have lots of sex but not make an emotional connection,” warned Debbie Then, a Californian psychologist. “If a man is going to be master of the universe at work, he will also want to be master of the universe at home.”
In this country Gail Kinman, senior psychology lecturer at Luton University, said it all sounded very tiring. “I do not know if they can keep it up. A strong relationship can survive a workaholic partner — at least for a while.”
Paula Hall, a counsellor at Relate, said such “sexual compensation” was not just about hours spent in the office. “Someone who enjoys their job will spread happiness around. The more successful you are, the more testosterone you produce. And if you are good at what you do, it’s more likely to be ‘Hey — let’s party’.”
Men who describe themselves as workaholics often try to find some “quality time” to spend with their lovers. Tony Blair recently said that he always aimed to find some “romance” time in his working schedule and joked with a photographer during the election campaign that he had sex “at least” five times a night.
Sociologists believe chefs rank higher than politicians among the professions dominated by workaholics, and the chefs agree. Mike Robinson, 35, who runs the Pot Kiln in Frilsham, Berkshire, said he worked the most “antisocial hours known to humanity”.
“I would like to spend more time with my wife but it’s not feasible,” he said last week. On sex, he said: “That side of things becomes slightly irregular, but you catch up when you can.”
Jamie Oliver, the celebrity chef, has admitted that his long working day has caused problems in his marriage. However, he does not hold with the American theory that workaholics can compensate through sexual performance.
“I always say the divorce rate would go down dramatically if people sat down together more often and had some good food and a nice cup of tea,” he said.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-1743347,00.html