DSMPOWERED
09-05-2005, 03:36 PM
Acura: real luxury cars are not FWD.
Alfa Romeo: This company builds great cars yet is constantly teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. The only explanation I can think of is that someone over there has an insane coke habit.
Audi: All the unreliability of an FD RX-7, with none of the fun!
BMW: Why is it that to design a BMW, you either have to plagiarize the exterior of a 1987-1990 Nissan Sentra, or be tripping on LSD?
Buick: If you're driving a Buick, your eyesight has deteriorated well beyond being able to read any comment I make here. Why bother.
Cadillac: they're coveted by the two most dangerous groups of people in our society: street thugs and old people with severe dementia.
Chevrolet: I don't care if you give me employee pricing. I don't care if you drop a new Chevrolet in my driveway with a title in my name, $10,000, and three strippers. Until I see a good track record of reliability, I'd be better off taking the bus to work every day.
Chrysler: How can a company that's introduced so much new technology to the auto industry be incapable of building a transmission that at least lasts through the warranty period?
Daewoo: Were they even here?
Dodge: Ever see Joe Dirt?
Ferrari: How can people pay $250,000+ for the performance of a 1G AWD DSM with a 16G and a good set of full coilovers?
Ford: Have they built anyhing in the last 30 years besides the Mustang and SVT products that wasn't a complete failure? The F150 only counts if it's still under warranty.
GMC: Chevy trucks with different badging: pure marketing genius.
Honda: If double wishbones are so goddamned good, why is an Integra Type R the only car you've sent to the US that can outhandle a B13 SE-R with its ghetto-ass, Nixon-era strut suspension?
Hyundai: Why don't Japanese brands offer a ten-year warranty? Because they have reliability records that don't make people run screaming from their dealerships.
Infiniti: The G35 isn't ass-ugly. You've accomplished something.
Isuzu: You were once one of Japan's most respected brands. Now you're GM's bitch.
Jaguar: If a Ford buyout results in better reliability records, you're a disgrace to the industry.
Jeep: You engineer genuine off-road capability into vehicles usually bought by suburban housewifes.
Kia: Stop laughing at Daewoo. You're next.
Lamborghini: Go ahead, laugh at my DSM. Little do you realize that you'll be as broke as me if you maintain and repair your pasta tractor for any length of time.
Lincoln: You think you look like a Mafioso in your blacked-out Town Car. People are only hastily getting out of your way because you can't see over the steering wheel, and are driving on the sidewalk.
Mazda: You rose from the ashes of nuclear disaster, built some of the most technologically impressive vehicles of all time, and you've been reduced to being Ford's favorite cost-cutting whipping boy.
Mercedes-Benz: If you don't have a warranty, sell your first born child
Mercury: Buick for rednecks!
Mitsubishi: The 4G63 is one of the greatest pieces of automotive engineering. Everything else you've stuck your nose into has sucked. You're like the Japanese version of AMC.
Nissan: Do you sell anything that doesn't have a VQ35 in it?
Pontiac: Chevrolet for ricers
Porsche: For people who are so rich they can afford a car that's in the shop 2/3 of the year.
Saab: Strange cars for strange people.
Saturn: Ugly, slow, unreliable. No wonder they're eating up VW's market share!
Scion: Ugly, slow cars for ugly, slow children.
Subaru: It's like owning a DSM, but being JDM, yo!
Toyota: A company that believes any car that's fun to drive should be produced and sold in limited numbers, ridiculously overpriced, and then abruptly yanked from the market.
Volkswagen: Most are built in Mexico. Judging by build quality and reliability, they're probably built by drunken frat boys in TJ.
Volvo: They're known for rarely breaking down. Too many people don't know that the one breakdown will cost more than ten years of Ford Tempo ownership.
Alfa Romeo: This company builds great cars yet is constantly teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. The only explanation I can think of is that someone over there has an insane coke habit.
Audi: All the unreliability of an FD RX-7, with none of the fun!
BMW: Why is it that to design a BMW, you either have to plagiarize the exterior of a 1987-1990 Nissan Sentra, or be tripping on LSD?
Buick: If you're driving a Buick, your eyesight has deteriorated well beyond being able to read any comment I make here. Why bother.
Cadillac: they're coveted by the two most dangerous groups of people in our society: street thugs and old people with severe dementia.
Chevrolet: I don't care if you give me employee pricing. I don't care if you drop a new Chevrolet in my driveway with a title in my name, $10,000, and three strippers. Until I see a good track record of reliability, I'd be better off taking the bus to work every day.
Chrysler: How can a company that's introduced so much new technology to the auto industry be incapable of building a transmission that at least lasts through the warranty period?
Daewoo: Were they even here?
Dodge: Ever see Joe Dirt?
Ferrari: How can people pay $250,000+ for the performance of a 1G AWD DSM with a 16G and a good set of full coilovers?
Ford: Have they built anyhing in the last 30 years besides the Mustang and SVT products that wasn't a complete failure? The F150 only counts if it's still under warranty.
GMC: Chevy trucks with different badging: pure marketing genius.
Honda: If double wishbones are so goddamned good, why is an Integra Type R the only car you've sent to the US that can outhandle a B13 SE-R with its ghetto-ass, Nixon-era strut suspension?
Hyundai: Why don't Japanese brands offer a ten-year warranty? Because they have reliability records that don't make people run screaming from their dealerships.
Infiniti: The G35 isn't ass-ugly. You've accomplished something.
Isuzu: You were once one of Japan's most respected brands. Now you're GM's bitch.
Jaguar: If a Ford buyout results in better reliability records, you're a disgrace to the industry.
Jeep: You engineer genuine off-road capability into vehicles usually bought by suburban housewifes.
Kia: Stop laughing at Daewoo. You're next.
Lamborghini: Go ahead, laugh at my DSM. Little do you realize that you'll be as broke as me if you maintain and repair your pasta tractor for any length of time.
Lincoln: You think you look like a Mafioso in your blacked-out Town Car. People are only hastily getting out of your way because you can't see over the steering wheel, and are driving on the sidewalk.
Mazda: You rose from the ashes of nuclear disaster, built some of the most technologically impressive vehicles of all time, and you've been reduced to being Ford's favorite cost-cutting whipping boy.
Mercedes-Benz: If you don't have a warranty, sell your first born child
Mercury: Buick for rednecks!
Mitsubishi: The 4G63 is one of the greatest pieces of automotive engineering. Everything else you've stuck your nose into has sucked. You're like the Japanese version of AMC.
Nissan: Do you sell anything that doesn't have a VQ35 in it?
Pontiac: Chevrolet for ricers
Porsche: For people who are so rich they can afford a car that's in the shop 2/3 of the year.
Saab: Strange cars for strange people.
Saturn: Ugly, slow, unreliable. No wonder they're eating up VW's market share!
Scion: Ugly, slow cars for ugly, slow children.
Subaru: It's like owning a DSM, but being JDM, yo!
Toyota: A company that believes any car that's fun to drive should be produced and sold in limited numbers, ridiculously overpriced, and then abruptly yanked from the market.
Volkswagen: Most are built in Mexico. Judging by build quality and reliability, they're probably built by drunken frat boys in TJ.
Volvo: They're known for rarely breaking down. Too many people don't know that the one breakdown will cost more than ten years of Ford Tempo ownership.