Talking donkeys in the bible.....

czarofzar · #31 07-22-2007, 01:14 PM

phhhhhhraid not

Ark2 · #32 07-22-2007, 06:17 PM

Cinnamon!!!

95whitepep · #33 07-22-2007, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ark2

Cinnamon!!!

Maybe this will help you out....

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0...sinheaven.html

Ark2 · #34 07-22-2007, 08:04 PM

From the link posted above.

Quote:

Do Pets Go to Heaven?

Dear Pastor,

I am 8-years old and I am so sad now cause my dog, Scruffy is awfully sick. The pet doctor told my mom that Scruffy has only a few weeks to live because he has a bunch of cancers everwhere. The doctor told my mom that I am gonna see Scruffy when I get to heaven, but she told me that my doctor is not saved, so that I will write to you and ask you the real answer about Scruffy because you know.

Pastor, I love Scruffy so much! I have been trying so much every day not to cry, but when I look at his eyes, he is so sad! My poor dog is in so much pain with his cancers. Is Scruffy going to go to Heaven, Pastor? Will I get to see him again?

Timothy Galvin - Age 8
Freehold, Iowa

Dear Timmy,

It always breaks my heart when I have to answer a question like this. I understand your concern, but I won't lie to you. According to the Bible, there will be no animals in heaven except for horses. And those horses, the book of Revelation tells us, will be used solely as a means of transportation. Scripture tells us that horses will sprout wings and be able to fly at high speeds. We'll fly too, Timmy, but the horses will probably fly faster, which is why Jesus is going to keep them around.

As True Christiansâ„¢, we can only speculate why God doesn't find it necessary to populate heaven with dogs, cats, cows, chickens and other creatures. Most likely it is because we won't need food when we get to Heaven. Using Bible logic, we have to assume that there are going to be a whole mess of folks in Hell and most of them will be Chinese, since they never had the luxury of hearing about Jesus. People in hell will need food to sustain them through an eternity of torture at the hands of the loving God they rejected. As we understand it, Chinese folks love to eat dogs. I'm sorry, Timmy - it is a hard sight to take in, but in a few weeks little Scruffy will be savagely ripped to shreds, as will countless other pooches, at the blood-stained hands of starving, godless Chinamen as they are beaten and sodomized by demons on the desolate shores of the Lake of Fire. My guess is that those shores will be piled high with the rotting, bone-picked carcasses of every household pet there ever was.

I hope this helps.

Your friend and Pastor,

Deacon Fred

That's a relief, I hate dogs.

95whitepep · #35 07-22-2007, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ark2

That's a relief, I hate dogs.

Um, hate to break it to you,

Quote:

According to the Bible, there will be no animals in heaven except for horses.

Cinnamon well, is going to taste like Cinnamon.

czarofzar · #36 07-22-2007, 09:08 PM

lawl!
"you must be a saved adult to rub your mouse over this image"

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0403/spongebob.html

95whitepep · #37 07-23-2007, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YZF-R1

liberals love the "Landover Baptist" card...what a collection of freaks

"Landover Baptist card" No such thing. Can you not see the satire of the whole website? Are you truly that blind or immature?

95whitepep · #38 07-23-2007, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YZF-R1

there is a "baptist" group the media is always having fun with, I didn't bother clicking the link

You just

yourself....classic!

95whitepep · #39 07-23-2007, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YZF-R1

if I was "owned" by not clicking a satirical link, so be it...most of the links you post here are complete trash

Nice! keep digging that hole there skidMark...you just admitted that you were owned by yourself, and by a complete satire website of all things..

LOL this day just keeps on getting better!

honegod · #40 07-25-2007, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ark2

This is merely word play, you aren't considering any implications because your mind is already made up.

not really, part of the fun is accepting the words as saying exactly what they say, so "who spoke with a man's voice" even though she was a female means that god wanted the donkey to speak like a man and not just a talking female donkey, the difference would be a man has a soul and CAN recognise the authority of his master to beat on him, and rebel against that authority, questioning the JUSTICE of the rightious punishment the master decides to inflict.

which is exactly what the donkey does.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ark2

Even if the donkey had a soul, what relevance does it have on the story? Regular donkeys rebel yet aren't given souls so this is definative proof that this donkey's rebellion couldn't be the origin that it allegedly had? Even if this were true, so what?

I am struck by the parallel, the donkey objects to her masters rightious punishment just like moses objected to god killing all the jews, and in both cases the master backed down from the proposed slaughter and was satisfied with a less than total deadly punishment.
the donkey just gets a beating, not the sword, and god only kills a FEW of his jews instead of all of them and starting over again.

without a soul the donkey was just an animal with no way to argue justice.
WITH a soul the donkey becomes a special creation that joins man, and possibly the angels in spirituality, at which point how god treats this creature is of interest, did he create it as just another weed for the fire of his glory ?

or did her long suffering of her rider qualify her for heaven ?

honegod · #41 07-25-2007, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YZF-R1

animals do not have souls, that is clear from the scripture

Quote:

Originally Posted by YZF-R1
anything is possible with God

except gifting an animal with a soul to humble one of His prophets ?

possibly to show him that he wasn't quite as special as he was starting to think he was .